


11 Million

by chaoticrandomness



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Ghosts, Historical References, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 23:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5110151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticrandomness/pseuds/chaoticrandomness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a girl wakes up from a coma with the ability to see ghosts and deals with the memories of her past life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	11 Million

When I open my eyes, I’m surrounded by hundreds of people.

 

_What’s going on? Why are they here? Is there any reason for me to know all of them?_

I can’t answer any of my questions, for I don’t know _anything_ about how I got here or even if this is normal. The people have a variety of hair colors and eye colors and ages and I think one of them has a tattoo that I can see, but none of them seem to be paying any attention to me at all despite the fact that they’re all surrounding my bed like jailers…

 

_Revenge is sweet, isn’t it?_

_Wait, why do they hate me? What did I do to get so many people to despise me? Who am I?_

“...hello? Um, nice to meet all of you?” I blurt out, hoping to figure out what’s happening, but none of them answer. A few people briefly tilt their heads towards me before going back to their conversations, and the room’s getting more crowded every minute.

 

_If you’re not going to interact with me, then what’s the point of even showing up? Do you hate me so much that you’re all willing to surround me and isolate me for something I don’t even know I did?_

_No, they’re justified. Completely justified._

 

A loud bang pulls me out of my thoughts. A tall silver-haired girl with red eyes bursts into the room, runs towards me, and introduces herself as Julia Schmidt.

 

_Why are you the only person in this room who’s willing to interact with me? Do you know why everyone else here’s avoiding me?_

“...why are you here?” I ask, for I need an explanation behind why thousands of people are in this room yet only one of them’s even bothered to interact with me. She quickly turns away from my bed, and I had to have done something wrong, for-

 

“Do you… Monica, do you know who I am?” Julia asks, as she turns back towards me.

 

“No.” I answer, for I’ve never seen her before but she feels so familiar, just like every other person in this room is familiar to me in some strange way…

 

_Because you killed them, obviously. When did you start seeing them?_

Julia’s left my room as I try to puzzle out how long this hypothetical ghost army’s been haunting me, yet I can’t think of anything that happened before I woke up and it’s like they’re always been there.

 

* * *

 

_Once upon a time, there was a man and a girl. The man promised that he could save the girl and make her great, just like she had been before the war. The girl agreed, and took his hand and followed him down his path, even as her elder sister begged her to stop, for there was something wrong._

There’s no reason for me to dream of overly-realistic fairytales, yet for all I know, this is related to the supposed ghosts that surround me. Julia’s told me that I’m her younger sister, and that our parents died in a car crash and that I’ve been in the hospital for about a week, yet the dreams I have feel so much more real than the life I supposedly lived…

 

_The man took a hammer and smashed the stars in the sky, and they fell to the ground like shards of crystal. The girl felt that something was wrong, but the man told her that she was lying, for no harm could befall such a great nation. They came upon a field of white roses, which were destroyed by a strange pesticide that flowed from the sky like water._

_The roses told the girl that they were saving her life, but she couldn’t hear them._

This makes no sense. What on earth do any of these things have to do with each other, and what do I have to do with it all? Why would I dream of a fairytale world with personified nations?

 

_Because that all happened, and it’ll probably happen again._

_Winter came, and the girl froze to death in a field of corpses. Spring came, and the man shot himself in the head. Summer came, and the girl lost her beloved older sister._

The ghosts are still in my hospital room, but they haven’t said a single thing at all. In fact, it’s almost like they can’t talk, or they’re afraid of talking to me…

 

* * *

 

The nurses say that I’m going to be discharged soon, and that I’ve recovered from this a lot quicker than they expected.

 

_I’m constantly in pain. Little pinpricks stab me perpetually, and there’s no reason for this to happen at all…_

_Don’t trust the doctor. The doctor is the angel of death who decides who lives and dies and murders all of those he views as unworthy._

 

“What are you doing to me?!” I scream at the ghosts, for I don’t want to think about mass-murders who do it all under the guise of science, but they’re silent.

 

_Ever since this ghost army showed up, I’ve been experiencing all of these realistic visions and dreams… could it be that they’re just hallucinations as well? Have I gone mad?_

_If you’d gone insane, you wouldn’t have realized that what you were doing was wrong until it was too late to atone for it all._

“Monica, are you okay?” Julia asks, turning towards me as concern rises in her voice.

 

“...do you see the others? Do you see the ghosts?” I answer, for I have to know why thousands of ghosts are haunting me, becoming my jailer and executioner and judge…

 

_Justice. They’re doing it all for justice._

“I’m the only person who’s been inside this room that’s not a nurse.” she says as she walks out the door and through at least five ghosts. My head feels like lead for some reason, and the only thing I can do I close my eyes and hope for answers…

 

* * *

 

_I’m standing in a room filled with people and I have no idea how I got here at all, but I told them all to come here yet I’m not sure of what’s going on at all and the room’s filled with some weird noxious gas that’s filling my lungs and-_

_I can’t breathe. I can’t escape from this room, for this is a prison which is designed to murder as many people as possible. I built this entire room, yet here I am dying in it, dying alongside hundreds of my own people, just like I deserve…_

_I want to scream or cry or escape or do something, but I can’t move or do anything except slowly suffocate to death and realize that this is why I’ve been in so much pain, this is what the world will remember me for, not as a glorious nation but a genocidal maniac…_

_As I take my final breath, I see a garden and a little girl…_

I open my eyes to my sister standing over me, and this is wrong, everything about this situation is wrong, for I didn’t die in a gas chamber because I didn’t even know about them until they were being dismantled and the ghosts are here because of who I once was…

 

“Monica? What’s going on? Why were you thrashing around so violently and screaming at me? Are you alright?!” Julia exclaims as she grabs me by the shoulders and tries to embrace me, not knowing or caring that the ghosts were right the whole time and that she’s stepped on a few of them.

 

“Don’t go into the shower. It’s haunted.” I say, before I collapse into bed.

 

* * *

 

_Why should it matter what you did in your past life, Monica? You’re not the same person as you once were._

Yet if all I remember is a past life where I killed eleven million people in under a decade, it does matter. A lot.

 

_What do I do now? The ghosts want to condemn me, and they’re right, but how do I make it up to them and atone? Is death the only answer they’ll accept?_

Yet why did they let me survive the car crash, if that’s true? Did the car crash even happen? Is this entire world a fabrication filled with ghosts and false reincarnations, for I’m still the girl I once was?

 

_Why do I exist? Why did we exist back then? Why should any of this even matter, for I’m a serial killer?_

_Am I the same person as the girl who once followed a madman into darkness because he promised to make her great again?_

It’s morning now, and I’m getting discharged today. Yet all I want to do is jump out a window like the ghosts want me to do. There’s a girl with brown hair in a ponytail who’s placing a bouquet of flowers on my nightstand, and I feel like I’ve seen her before, somewhere…

 

_This has happened before. Back then, I fell in love with a girl and went to war and lost my memory and identity… but I won’t let it happen again. This time around, I’m not going to fall into madness._

“Feliciana?” I ask, and she quickly looks up from the flowers before breaking out into a massive smile.

 

“You remember me? Your sister told me you wouldn’t even know that I existed!” she exclaims, as she embraces me and I probably should be happy right now, yet the ghosts are still here and I can’t be happy around people I killed, for that’s morally wrong…

 

“I need you to help me get rid of some ghosts.” I say, as she climbs off the bed and impulsively picks up a broom.

 

_I’m actually being serious. They haven’t left at all, and I don’t know what to do about them…_

“How many ghosts are there? I’ll fight all of them!” she exclaims, brandishing the broom like a sword at the window. The ghosts have no idea she’s there at all, and they’re just minding their own business.

 

_Would it be bad to get rid of them in a way that’s anything like the way they died in?_

“Eleven million.” I answer, but she’s not listening to me at all and just swinging the broom wildly at the wall.

 

_Wait, were the ghosts my judges or were they just there? Did they just not interact with me and see how I’d react, or did I hallucinate them?_ _Were they ever anything more than figments of my imagination?_

_What is memory, other than imagination? What is life, other than the brain’s creation?_

“Monica, are you ready to leave now?” my sister asks as she walks into the room with a wheelchair.

 

“Yes.” I answer, as I leave the hospital with the two of them.

 

I’m halfway down the road when I realize that all of the ghosts are gone.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween, everybody.


End file.
